Almost all the students and teenagers go through this phase termed as the relationship. So what is a relationship? Some of you might say that relationship is a bond between two people having mutual understanding, while some people may say that it is an attraction between two people. But there’s one question that I want to ask that why do you need a relationship? This question has been striking my mind for so long, and now I am writing an article on it. Many people, especially school students, face rejection and sometimes without facing rejection they fear expressing their feelings. And once into a relationship, people get insecure about their partners and fear about the breakup. We will be discussing how you can overcome your fear of breakup and how you can use rejection as a tool to achieve your goals.
Why Do You Need Relationship?
My first and foremost question to ask you guys is, why do you need a relationship. Many people get into college and try to get into a relationship, whereas many people try having a relationship in their schooling period. Teens nowadays get influenced by the shows they watch and the environment they live in. It’s the time of social media, and you can get tons of posts about the relationship. Talking about movies, we have always seen that boy met a girl, and they fell for love at first sight. But do you think that love at first sight, does exist? No, we have always been shown such things by movies and shows, but that is reel life.
In real life, we have a different scenario. Even if you see a girl or a boy and you start developing feelings for them, but that is not what you call love. That’s what we call infatuation, and it’s common amongst teenager. But at the age of 16, 17 when you pass your 12 do you need a relationship? No, you don’t.
Efforts We Make To Establish A Relationship
When going into a relationship, you have to secure your finances. Many of us don’t even have our earnings which we can rely on. School students who don’t have any earnings have to rely on parents money. And do you want to spend your parent’s money to give a gift or a treat to your partner? No, not at all. There might be many people thinking that they don’t spend on their girlfriend or boyfriend, and neither of them is a spendthrift. Don’t get offended by my thoughts. But in a relationship, there are few expenses, which no matter how much you neglect, but you have to pay for them. It can be a birthday treat or buying a gift on some auspicious day, and that’s the time when you ask your parents for money.
Think yourself, is it right to depend on your parent’s money for developing a relationship. I am not against the relationship but what I meant to say is if you are even making efforts to establish a relationship, then try to be self-dependent and not depending on parents money.
Forgetting Your Goals
Now in a relationship many people, forgets there own goals. I have seen students bunking classes because their partner has said so. But is it of any use not following your goals for a relationship that won’t even last for too long? You are wasting your parent’s hard-earned money on it. Then some people blame that their goals have not been achieved because they had difficulty in managing their relationship.
Being a student myself, I have seen relationships which didn’t even last for six months. Also, if these relationships last longer, then there’s a chance of it breaking during board exams, or after it. Think about it; your family has expectations from you even you do yourself have some goals which you want to achieve and do you want to lose it for the sake of some relationship. See I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feeling, but it is the truth which you will have to face after some time, so it is better that be it now. Later there’s no benefit of regretting when there’s no time left. Question yourself that do you want to achieve what you desire or go fooling around for a relationship? You can achieve all you desire if you work for it.
Need For A Relationship
Everyone needs a relationship at some point of time, whether it’s you or me. But do you think that is it the correct time? You need to know what a relationship requires. It’s not only your looks that play a role in a relationship but so much more. In my opinion, looks should never be your priority when you are looking for a relationship. A need for a relationship can be your emotional requirement, and many people opt to go for a relationship so that they have a partner who supports them in their goals and future choices.
Do remember that when going for a relationship, you can never rely on looks. In a relationship, you give the other one the authority to judge you, correct you, support you emotionally, and have control of you. When choosing a partner for yourself, make sure you know them. Try to give some time to them before heading to start a relationship. In a relationship, you give the authority to your partner, and it should not be that your partner is misusing them. See what I mean to say is, if your partner can correct you or control you, then it shouldn’t be in a negative way. Your partner should not control you of the choices which you want to make, or back you off from your career.
Setting Your Priorities
When going into a relationship, it’s crucial to set your priorities. Many people are confused when it comes to setting their priorities. According to the relationship should never be your top priority until and unless you are married. This is one common mistake that students make while into a relationship, that they set relationship their top priority. Do question yourself, that at the age when goals, studies and career should be your top priority, you are having a relationship in the first place.
Having a relationship as your topmost priority will set you apart from your goals. Nowadays, everyone is addicted to their smartphones, playing games, watching videos, watching movies, using social media, and now comes one more distraction relationship if you haven’t set your priorities yet. I am not saying that relationship is a distraction, but it can be a distraction if you didn’t set goals as your top priority.
Setting a relationship as a top priority will not only misguide you from your goals. Still, it will also make you always think about your partner or even text them throughout the day and responding to their messages at the time when you should be studying.
Rejection Leads To Obsession
Rejection is worse than a breakup, as it leads to obsession. Why? When you are talking to a girl or a boy, and the chat is going normal as it should be, but then the other one starts ignoring you. Now what happens is that you start thinking about why they are ignoring you when they should’ t, so you start approaching them. You end them more texts and call them more than usual because they were ignoring you. When someone of the opposite sex starts ignoring you, you will generate obsession towards them that you should approach them more.
Many people, especially school students, have this thought that they are the most handsome boy or most handsome girl in this world and they attract everyone. I am not joking, it is true, and I have seen this myself. Now what happens is that you are talking to a girl or a boy and you have this thought in you that you are the most handsome boy or beautiful girl, and they start ignoring you. Now somewhere you are hurt, your ego is hurt, you start thinking that how can someone ignore an attractive personality like you, and you try more. You start spending time with them more often, more than usual, leaving all your work.
Distraction With Studies
Now, after the rejection comes distraction with studies and future goals. Today’s world is hardly led by books but more by the movies. We have movies based on college life or student life. Now, as a student, what I have seen in my classes is more studies and less romantic talks. No matter whether you are in India or any other countries, there won’t be any school or college that does anything more than studies. Now, this is where movies come, and we are shown in movies boys chasing girls, doing whatever they like to do to impress that particular girl. You can say that everything is being done except for studies.
This is what influences today’s generation. Seeing this, students start approaching a relationship when it’s not an age. Then a situation arrives when students say that they have a distraction for their studies or their exams because of their relationship. Now why this happens is because of your goal, not being your priority. As a student, your top priority should be your studies your goals, not a relationship. When you start focusing on your studies more than a relationship, then definitely you will not have any distraction with the goals of your studies.
Getting Away From Relationship
When you start getting obsessed towards someone, it is hard to get them away from your life. It’s in human nature to put effort into something that they should be putting. When you are obsessed with a girl or a boy, you start putting more effort to get into a relationship with them. What can you do to avoid this distraction or start getting away from it? Avoiding is the only solution to get away from it. I know it might be difficult for you to cut off that person from your life once you try to put effort to be with them in a relationship.
Try blocking them from all your social media profiles. If you have their number delete it and block all the calls from them, never cross their way. It can be difficult when you are in the same school or college, but you can try to avoid them. Never go the same way as they are going. Never catch the same bus that they catch, if they go to morning jog then change your timing, if you are in the same coaching then try to sit away from them as much as possible. Try not to start a conversation with them.
Conquering Your Ambitions And Goals
What I am going to tell you now is the most crucial part of the article. You know that you have the best weapon or you can say the tool to achieve all your goals if a girl or a boy has rejected you or if you have gone through a breakup. What’s life best teacher? An empty pocket, hungry stomach, and a broken heart are the best teacher of life. When you have gone through a relationship and had a breakup, or you have been rejected by someone than it is your tool to conquer your ambitions. Take it is a way to achieve all you ever wanted to.
Consider your rejection as revenge. Revenge does not mean bullying or harassing the other one but to be better than everyone else. Try thinking about why they have rejected you or why you had a breakup? Is she/he the only one and what’s the speciality in them that they have rejected you? If you think it this way and start using your rejection as a tool to achieve your goals, then no one can stop you from achieving success. You need to prove yourself better and think that it is the only chance to remind them that they did wrong rejecting you or breaking up from you.
There’s a lot to do in your student life, it’s the time when you can build your career or destroy. You have to take all your decisions very carefully. In this phase of lockdown, why get distracted with a thing that shouldn’t distract you. There’s a lot of things to do in this lockdown if you decide to spend your time wisely.